Of course, you all probably know I just cannot resist that. My TBI psych and my Buddhist teacher Dao and I are working on it in parallel. But on that tack, experimenting with how people of different cultures misrepresent themselves to tourists has to be great cognitive therapy for me, in developing a keener gut sense of trust and apprehenision. It's worth $10 here and there, like buying a guide book or hiring a tour guide for the morning, and probably cheaper.
I am drawn to the hot light like that sad dragonfly tonight who flew into my room and was buzzing around the ceiling lamp. Suddenly he was on his back, flailing, buzzing his wings in panic, but just couldn't fly. I took a straw and knocked him back on his feet, but it was obvious that his life would be over soon. I couldn't bear to put him out of his misery- I should be strong enough to do it- so I just pushed him out the door back to the natiural world. The next morning i saw his lifeless carcass on the main terrace. (I haven't even been out on my second terrace, maybe I'll try it tonight.) He didn't make it very far. I hope it wasn't a terribe death.
(insert dragonfly pics)
This beach tout boldly calls himself Capt. Marco Polo, but I refer to him as Capt. Hook. I met him after a long long swim and tai chi then crossfit type workout yesterday before my sensual seaside massage after a stack of dawa (cocktails). He told me another guest who was in the sea at that moment was going out on his boat, he was PADI certified, blah blah blah. The hairy old guy got ou of the water covered with equipment and passed without saying much and Capt. Hook signalled that was my snorkeling mate for tomorrow. So I signed up on his resso sheet, but heard him say in passing that he had to find a boat. Huh? Didn't he say he owed a boat. First alarm. Then he also said he'd thrown in some weed for $10. Oh, ok, sure. Again, my curiousity was getting to me.
(insert dope pic)
Last things first. I am not sure what it was he passed me in a rolled up piece of brown paper. Maybe the chaff from some real dope plants, with some random seeds added. So i found a page from my dictionary I knew I wouldn't use and smoked it. It's not like I can be arrested for smoking oregano. I asked him about it the next day, and he proudly tried to pass more off on me, and I told him the rest of it was going in the bushes to go back into the ecosystem, but that perhaps the seeds would turn into real dope. This is a muslim country so why would he have dope, but they all claim they are on it! Some sort of rasta aspirations.
I ran into the other guest in the water who was going on this tour, and I introduced myself and excused my curiosity about his interactions with Capt. Hook. The Germanic guy told me he was leaving he next day, and he had told persistent Capt. Hook to piss off. Ok, so that was Hook's second lie, but I expected that one.
I never thought Hook would show up at the beach at 9am. I am a guy of my word, so I was there. But sure enough, at 9:05am, he sauntered out of the 500m long narrow alley I discovered today leads to the slums, umbrella in hand, in the same outfit as the day before. The day before he told me that is where his tour van was. (Lie number four)
These touts are like vampires who cannot come into your house. If a guest walks onto the resort property, the persistent tout following just stop in his tracks. For the evil or obnoxious locals, I have no issue playing using their bane to toy with them. It's funny. Hook was one of the vampires: he couldnt cross that threshold for any reason, even if I invited him. A real vampire could be invited across.
Hook informed me that he found a boat (don't you have your own?), that his other guest decided not to come (it was never even possible he could come), so as we agreed, he arranged for me to go alone for us$60 (as if I would agree to that). I just told him point blank that I had done original research in business school about misrepresentation in marketing (it was off the books, in Internet dating), and that I was getting off on watching him misrepresent himself, and that it was entertaining.
(insert boat pic)
After a lot of clumsiness, I rescued him and told him we should just move on. There was the boat and crew all ready, so let's talk price. And in Zanzibar, I like to do this the way the pro's do it, writing figures in the sand with an umbrella. I set up the whole scenario for him, including currency conversions, forward credits, and discounting. But honestly, as in all things, what I proposed was fair, and fifteen minutes I was sailing across choppy seas on a fishing boat with a totally new crew, Spock and Capt. Kirk, and don't forget Uhura.
For those who don't calculate their finance in the sand, this is how to read the figures:
$45 (my median offer between the orig offer $30 each for two people, and the new $60 for one person)
- $10 (deposit)
$35 = 53,500 TS
17.5 (50% to add back and mult by 1000 for the currency conversion)
The paw marks are from someone else's transaction.
No comments:
Post a Comment